Your teenager wants to be treated like an adult, so let them feel like one. This is a mindset that will set them up for success later in life as well. Have an open discussion asking your teenager to really think about what they learned and how they’ll change the outcome in the future. I was interested in what he was going to do so he would pass the next test,” says James Lehman, MSW. I didn’t need to make speeches at him or blame him, because that’s not an effective way to get change. “I looked at it this way: the test was over, and he failed it. Focus on the positive memories they cared about, like: ‘Remember you won an award for your science project?’ Or, ‘Remember how all your classmates chose your idea for the class field trip?’Īlso use this as an opportunity to focus on how they can learn from the moments when they struggled most.
If your teen struggles with school, or did poorly the year before, it’s time to focus on what went well instead. All of these things could be reasons why they don’t want to go to school or are too distracted to do their work. For example, teenagers are likely to keep bullying/cyberbullying, alcohol/drug abuse, eating disorders and sexual abuse from you, according to psychotherapist Elizabeth Donovan.
Instead, talk with them to uncover potential stresses that they wouldn’t normally tell you. “The image of the lazy teenager has become so commonplace that many people simply assume that being lazy and unmotivated is a natural consequence of adolescence. Such thinking, while understandable, is essentially misguided,” says Chris Hudson, speaker and coach. If your teen is struggling to find motivation, there’s likely a good reason for it. With the following tactics in your arsenal, you’ll both walk away understood and prepared for the year ahead. Luckily, you don’t need a long list of psychology-based ideas to learn how to motivate a teenager. Unfortunately, this only escalates the situation, making it ineffective in motivating a teenager.
Which is why, for most over-worked, over-stressed parents, the go-to response when their teen says, “I don’t feel like doing it” is, “I don’t care, do it now.” Motivating a teenager to get out of bed can be challenging enough without the added stress of motivating them to do their schoolwork too.
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